The Tipping Point

It was the Christmas tree that started it. Actually, it was the Christmas tree bag that started it.

Two years ago my husband and I were putting our tree away in its new bag. The only problem was that the new bag didn't fit into the old spot. Out came the tape measure as we searched for a place wide enough, which happened to be my three-year-old daughter's closet full of baby gear.

We could only store the tree if we moved the baby gear, which had no other place to go. At 11 PM on a Sunday night, my husband and I finally had the discussion we had been putting off: Were we going to have any more children? We had talked about it before but had never made a firm decision. The Christmas tree had been the unlikely tipping point.

After some discussion, we decided that we were happy (and had been for a long time) with one child. We were not going to have any more kids, and it was time to let go of the baby things I had been saving.

My point in relating this very personal story is to illustrate that the tipping point of a decision is often something very trivial, like a Christmas tree.

What is your Christmas tree? What in your life does not have room? What decision (large or small) do you need to make in order to create room for what is important to you now?

As I dealt with the ramifications of our decision, I became aware of several things:

• Finding a good "home" helps. One of the first things I did was to donate my travel system stroller to a program for disadvantaged families at my church. I felt better knowing that someone who was truly in need would get good use out of it.
• It's important to say goodbye. I took some time alone to look through my daughter's old baby toys and reminisce. I was saying goodbye to a chapter in both her life and mine.
• It's okay to grieve. Anytime we leave a stage of life, a job, or even an organization we've belonged to for a long time, there's a sense of sadness. That's normal. It's okay to walk through that. While I sometimes missed the baby that my daughter was, it was exciting to see her grow up and discover new things.
• Don't dwell on the "what ifs." As we donated and sold the larger items, there were times that I would suddenly panic for just a moment. What if I changed my mind? What if I unexpectedly (and improbably) got pregnant? I then reminded myself that if circumstances changed, I would have what I needed. I didn't need to hold on to things out of fear.
• Take it in stages. The big items were easy to donate and sell. The little baby toys took me longer to let go. If I wasn't ready to part with an item, I saved it, knowing that I would be ready to let it go another time.
• Move forward. Letting go of all that baby gear left lots of room for all the items we had no place for previously. My roller blades and scrapbook case, my husband's golf clubs, and my daughter's current toys finally had space.
  

Fast forward two years. My daughter is now in kindergarten, and we have never regretted our decision (despite a twinge every now and then). We have continued to let go of things she outgrows, saving only a few very sentimental items. I also take pictures and videos of particular outfits and toys that I like so I have the memory but not all the stuff. Who would have thought that a Christmas tree and its bag would help us make an important decision for our family?

What about you? As you move into a new year, be aware of the "Christmas tree" moments in your life that cause you to ask questions that need to be answered. Take the opportunity to let go of what no longer serves you and your family. Make space for now.

You'll be glad you did.

© Renee Ursem, 2012

This year I am going to start a blog! If you have any topics you'd like to have addressed, email me or send me a message on Facebook. I'd love to hear from you.

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